ikea

We decided, in the name of science, to order all the possible non-dessert items that you could have for breakfast. That with a cup of coffee rang in for less than $6.

There are, of course, multiple options. A small and regular breakfast. Swedish pancakes. And a cinnamon roll.

The small and regular breakfasts are exactly the same, except the regular breakfast has these french toast dipping sticks. The dipping sticks, of course, are deep-fried, but surprisingly french-toast-like. The little potato chunks are also deep-fried, and also surprisingly delicious, even cold. The eggs are perfectly scrambled, not dried out at all from the steam tray, and seasoned. The bacon was the only disappointment, being smoked and just okay.

The buckwheat pancakes are folded into wedges and served with whipped cream and lingonberries on the side. These are good, but the steam table is not as kind to them as it is the breakfast -- I'm certain they're better right off the griddle.

And then there is the cinnamon bun. It's not as gooey and luscious as some, but it's still sweet and a bit sticky and perfectly okay with coffee.

I love the fact that your food comes on porcelain plates, your coffee in a porcelain cup, your flatware made of some sort of real metal. And the bargain hunter in me loves the fact that you can get a perfectly decent breakfast, quite possibly better than your neighborhood place, for $2.

There are three ways to get meatballs at IKEA. The one we all know about is in the IKEA Restaurant.

In the restaurant, you can get small (10, $4.29), regular (15, $4.99) or large (20, $5.99) portions of meatballs in cream gravy, meatball-sized whole red new potatoes, with a spot of lingonberry sauce. These come served on a porcelain plate, that you can eat in the pleasant restaurant with real metal flatware at a clean table while sipping on free refills of pop or coffee. There's salt and pepper, cholula hot sauce, ketchup, and even little flip cards on your table with the answers to all your questions -- or at least, all the questions that IKEA thinks that you will ask. Sit by the huge windows and watch the weather coming in, or planes taking off and landing. It's all very civilized. The restaurant even provides tray carts, so you can easily push all your trays to your table without spilling them or doing a balancing act.

But if you need a meatball fix right now, you should know about the IKEA Bistro. The Bistro is the little fastfood area after you pay for all your new belongings, and the fact that it's called a bistro is a sad joke. It's dirty, crowded, noisy -- really everything the restaurant is not.

But, you can buy a cup of meatballs for $1, along with 50 cent hot dogs, cinnamon buns, frozen yougurt, and some strange pizza empanada sort of thing. The $1 cup is small, but it probably has 6-8 meatballs in it (sorry, I didn't count). You get a toothpick to eat them with.

Best yet, if you go into the entrance of IKEA, but don't follow everyone up the escalator, but rather, veer to the extreme right, you'll see the check out cashiers and the Bistro. Just proceed directly there, and glare at anyone who comes between you and your meatballs.

Finally, you can buy meatballs frozen in the Swedish Food Market, conveniently located next to the Bistro. A 2.5 lb bag is $7.99, and you can buy some instant cream gravy mix for just a little more. Lingonberry sauce, I'm sure, is also available.

Another option, if you're on the west side, is to go to the Dania on NW Cornell, and have their cafe's meatballs, either hot or frozen.